14-07-2014, 04:22 PM
دوستان خواهش میکنم این رایتینگ و تصحیح کنید و بگید وضع رایتینگم چقدر خرابه من شش ماه دیگه باید امتحان بدم و چون واحد دارم همزمان با درس دانشگاه برای تافل باید بخونم حتما بالای 95 باید بگیرم و خیلی ناامیدم ... راهنمایی کنید لطفا
چون تو 30 دقیقه نوشتم دیگه فرصت تصحیح نداشتم و first draft هست
موضوع : Nowdays food has become easier to prepare has this improved the way people live?[font]This is life in 21th century, A very fast pace rhythm of commuting between work places and homes , A world filled with ambitious workholics who only care about doing the job done in the shortest amount of[/font][font]time possible. People who 50 percent of their daily time is alloted to work and only work . This why the only qualities of food they understand are two terms "taste" and "preparation time" .[/font][font]These Hardworking people who aspire to achieve the best don't feel the neccessity of fancy and huge portions of steaks with an amount of caviar , These things seem extravagant and not harmonious with[/font][font]their fast pace life .[/font] [font]People nowdays are mostly familiar with daily usage of quickly prepared foods such as hamburgers , pizzas or chicken wings . They enjoy the easily routine they have to go through to get a delicious meal delivered[/font][font]to their house , a phone call and probably paying an amount of money between 10 to 30 dollars . This is the era of fast foods . For people who work approximately 12 hours a day not to forced to go to shops and groccery[/font][font]stores to buy the essential ingriedients , and spending at least half to one hour to prepare their dinner is a blessing from the modern human lifestyle . In a sense , it can be said such phenomenon contributed alot to[/font][font]to improve the speed of humans lives . These fast foods eliminated the need of tedious cooking routine to prepare three portions of meals every single day . Today in united states many of newyorkers who don't have enough [/font][font]time for such things prefer to have brunch at local place instead of a fancy breakfast at their own house . The whole phenomenon of fast food and various types of restaurants and brunch places has a great role[/font][font]in evoloution of cave men to wallstreet guys .[/font] [font]But it not only good that comes out of these unbelievable blessing of modern lifestyle . Widespread obessity and high blood pressure are few of many health problems caused by excessive usage of unhealthy fast foods, not[/font][font]to mention cancer that in some cases is related to long time usage of such products . It is clear that we cannot abandon our favorite restaurants such as MacDonalds and Burgerking , they are essential parts of our lives .[/font][font]In the other side we have worried doctors who dont approve of such madness and indicate that this a good recipie for suicide . Now we face a serious question , which one is the right path ? [/font] [font]In conclusion , we can say "yes" , quickly prepared food contributed a lot to improvement of our lifstyle , but because of health issues their usage should be meticulously monitored and brought under control.[/font][font]A balance between terms is needed to maintain both "health" and "speed of daily life" of modern man .[/font]
چون تو 30 دقیقه نوشتم دیگه فرصت تصحیح نداشتم و first draft هست
موضوع : Nowdays food has become easier to prepare has this improved the way people live?[font]This is life in 21th century, A very fast pace rhythm of commuting between work places and homes , A world filled with ambitious workholics who only care about doing the job done in the shortest amount of[/font][font]time possible. People who 50 percent of their daily time is alloted to work and only work . This why the only qualities of food they understand are two terms "taste" and "preparation time" .[/font][font]These Hardworking people who aspire to achieve the best don't feel the neccessity of fancy and huge portions of steaks with an amount of caviar , These things seem extravagant and not harmonious with[/font][font]their fast pace life .[/font] [font]People nowdays are mostly familiar with daily usage of quickly prepared foods such as hamburgers , pizzas or chicken wings . They enjoy the easily routine they have to go through to get a delicious meal delivered[/font][font]to their house , a phone call and probably paying an amount of money between 10 to 30 dollars . This is the era of fast foods . For people who work approximately 12 hours a day not to forced to go to shops and groccery[/font][font]stores to buy the essential ingriedients , and spending at least half to one hour to prepare their dinner is a blessing from the modern human lifestyle . In a sense , it can be said such phenomenon contributed alot to[/font][font]to improve the speed of humans lives . These fast foods eliminated the need of tedious cooking routine to prepare three portions of meals every single day . Today in united states many of newyorkers who don't have enough [/font][font]time for such things prefer to have brunch at local place instead of a fancy breakfast at their own house . The whole phenomenon of fast food and various types of restaurants and brunch places has a great role[/font][font]in evoloution of cave men to wallstreet guys .[/font] [font]But it not only good that comes out of these unbelievable blessing of modern lifestyle . Widespread obessity and high blood pressure are few of many health problems caused by excessive usage of unhealthy fast foods, not[/font][font]to mention cancer that in some cases is related to long time usage of such products . It is clear that we cannot abandon our favorite restaurants such as MacDonalds and Burgerking , they are essential parts of our lives .[/font][font]In the other side we have worried doctors who dont approve of such madness and indicate that this a good recipie for suicide . Now we face a serious question , which one is the right path ? [/font] [font]In conclusion , we can say "yes" , quickly prepared food contributed a lot to improvement of our lifstyle , but because of health issues their usage should be meticulously monitored and brought under control.[/font][font]A balance between terms is needed to maintain both "health" and "speed of daily life" of modern man .[/font]