نمونه Writing های تافل iBT خود را در این تاپیک قرار دهید.

[Anonymous]

Dear shookoh,

I noticed two major things about your note and apart form them, you write well and y are ganna be a great writer some day in the near future...

1- you need to separate three or two major sentences to separated/clear ones with a vivid/ sharp meaning.

2- you are using so many advanced words, which is good really, but you need to get enough professional for that to be able to arrange the whole text+ words professinoally.

take a look to some phrases I ve manipulated here for ya.

To my understanding, I am of the standpoint conceded every person has the personal rights to make his own destiny ( make his/her own decisions/ or chooses his/her own destiny), in some cases he cannot makes underlying decisions alone especially those cases which have effects on other individuals. There appear to be numerous reasons why I hold on, and I would explicate solely (*instructions, It'll make it look more professional if you do not state about your own implications so much/ as you've put already " To my understanding" at the beginning of the paragraph) a few primary ones, as follows. To begin with, for children who cannot recognize the bad from the good, it is of vital significance that they are not able to make pivotal decisions themselves.To begin with, for children who cannot recognize the bad from good, it is a vital significance to be supervised in their most pivotal decisions. To shed more light on the issue, the children do not have so much experience in compared with their parents that they cannot make the authentic decision ( "The" which authentic decision?|) (*instructions: they asked about the "person" at the title not the children , right? ). On the other hand, for the young they are mature enough that they are able to make decision about their personal matters, but they also take advice from the elderly.On the other hand, for the youth who are mature enough to make decisions alone, it seems rational as well to take some solicited advices from the elderly in cases they look for easy ways to succeed.. To put it more simply, for any young person there lie a plethora of decisions such as, choosing a major in university, selection of a life partner, choosing a career and so forth. They should make so many decisions along with living his/her life and it is noteworthy that no one can understand his own issues better than himself. Furthermore, it is quite fruitful to hear the opinions of well-wishers and the experienced respecting the deciding issues. ??? (is is a vague sentence, what are you trying to say?)