رفع اشکال Analysis of an Argument

[PAR!SA]

با سلام
از این تاپیک جهت قرار دادن نمونه Writing خود از نوع Argument استفاده نمایید.
به منظور افزایش دقت تصحیح نوشته شما،حتما توضیحات و صورت سوال را هم به طور کامل ذکر کنید.
با تشکر
(مدیریت انجمن GMAT)
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ممنون میشم اگه ایرادات رایتینگ من رو هم بگید

In this argument, comparing two things that there is no relationship
between them has been done and also this comparison has not shown that costs
minimize during years and then profits maximize. Also there is no clear reason
that shows over time organizations learn how to do it better.

Most conspicuously, the argument doesn’t show over time, the costs of
processing go down because of organization learn how to do things better and
they become more efficient. In fact, reviewing the example shows after about
14years for color film the cost has changed and it’s more expensive than
before. Because in 1970 the price was 50cents for 5 day service but after that
in 1984 cost was 20cents for one-day service and we can understand that the example
doesn’t support main goal.

Also the other point that can’t be persuasive is reducing price is not
acceptable reason for achieving high quality.

Olympics want to celebrate 25th year, but it doesn’t mean
that quality of food can be the best. Olympics occur every four year and during
this champion some organizations need to prepare food for the population that
attends in this match. Maybe because of number of people they couldn’t to have
perfect service for customers.

This argument explains some keys that they are not important for quality
of good and it can’t convince readers.

[ice]

با توجه به این که متن پرسش را نگذاشتید من فقط ادبیاتش رو کمی تغییر دادم. به نظر من انتهای متن نیاز به جمع بندی مشخص تری داره.

In this argument, two items have been compared that have no relationship. Also, this comparison does not show that costs drop during years while profits maximize. In addition, there is no clear reason that shows organizations learn how to do it better over time.
Most noticeably, the argument doesn’t show the costs of processing going down because the organizations learn how to do things better over time and they
become more efficient. In fact, reviewing the example for color film shows after about 14years the cost has changed and it’s more expensive than before.
Because in 1970 the price was 50cents for 5 day service but after that in 1984 cost was 20cents for one-day of service and we understand that the example doesn’t support the main goal.

Moreover, another point that isn't persuasive is that reducing the price is not necessarily an acceptable reason for achieving high quality. The Olympic games
may want to celebrate their 25th year, but it doesn’t mean that the quality of food is the best.
Olympics occur every four years and during these championships some organizations must prepare food for the population that attends these matches. It is possible that the high number of participants lower their ability in having perfect service for customers.

This argument explains some key factors that are not important in the quality of goods and it can’t convince readers .

[m0h3n]

@par!SA

با توجه به اینکه این رایتینگ مربوط به GRE میشه دقت داشته باشید که علاوه بر اصول رایتینگ (و حتی مهم تر) باید با توجه به متن داده شده، argument خوبی هم نوشته باشید.

[PAR!SA]

@par!SA

با توجه به اینکه این رایتینگ مربوط به GRE میشه دقت داشته باشید که علاوه بر اصول رایتینگ (و حتی مهم تر) باید با توجه به متن داده شده، argument خوبی هم نوشته باشید.

مربوط به GMAT هست
این هم سوال بود

“Over time,
the costs of processing go down because as organizations learn how to do things
better, they become more efficient. In color film processing, for example, the
cost of a 3-by-5-inch print fell from 50 cents for five-day service in 1970 to
20 cents for one-day service in 1984. The same principle applies to the
processing of food. And since Olympic Foods will soon celebrate its 25th
birthday, we can expect that our long experience will enable us to minimize
costs and thus maximize profits.”


Discuss how
well reasoned you find this argument. In your discussion be sure to analyze the
line of reasoning and the use of evidence in the argument. For example, you may
need to consider what questionable assumptions underlie the thinking and what
alternative explanations or counterexamples might weaken the conclusion. You
can also discuss what sort of evidence would strengthen or refute the argument,
what changes in the argument would make
it more logically sound, and what, if anything, would help you better evaluate
its conclusion.

[PAR!SA]

دوستان اگه میشه اشکالات رایتینگ من رو بگید
با تشکر

[PAR!SA]

دوستان عزیز
تو رایتینگ GMAT همیشه باید مخالفت کنیم ؟

[Nasim67]

پریسا جان
از اونجا که در رایتینگ GMAT و بالاخص در نوع Argument قصد بررسی قدرت تحلیل و منطق امتحان دهنده است،طبیعتا موضوعات طوری طرح میشن که شخص بتونه نظراتشو به خوبی شرح و بسط بده.پس اغلب حالت انتقادی و به نوعی مخالفت پیدا می کنه.اما!باید این نکته رو هم در نظر داشته باشید که قطعا هر تصمیم مدیریتی هم ابعاد مثبت و هم ابعاد منفی داره،پس بهتره که هنگام نوشتن،به هر دو سو توجه کنید.