رفع اشکال و نظرسنجی درمورد نمونه های Writing شما

[ice]

سلام مرسی از راهنماییتون. من این متن را خیلی با عجله نوشتم والان یک متن دیگر با یک سری تغییرات مینویسم که فکر میکنم شاید بهتر باشه لطفآ این را هم برام تصحیح کنید.
Last year, when we were returning home from a trip to northern iran, a bad accident happened in front of us. A car with four passengers capsized. When we saw this scene, we got out off the car to help the vehicle occupants. After approaching the car accident, we found that the passengers in the car are were trapped and with severe bleeding. Then we tried to get them out of the car, it was very difficult because there  were are two unconscious individuals who were unconscious. While we were removing them, two  other people also came to help them. After a few minutes we were able to bring the wounded out of the overturned car. Unfortunatly  by the time the ambulance arrived one of them was dead when the ambulance arrived, but the rest were taken to the hospital and hopefully they are still alive. After this incident, i feel happy  to have been because i was able to help them.