نظرخواهی در مورد متن ایمیل به استادان

[Babak]

سلام،

میخواستم اگر امکانش هست نظرتون رو درباره ی متنی که من آماده کردم بهم بگید

Dear Professor Name

I am a graduated Industrial Engineering student and I am eager to apply for PhD Program in … University

In my M.Sc. thesis, I focused on the generalized traveling salesman problem (GTSP
Three papers were submitted from my thesis. One of these papers is published and the others are under review in COR and EJOR
I’ve also done some other researches that you can find them in my CV which is attached to this email

I am interested in designing exact and heuristic algorithms for variety of problems, especially NP-Hard problems
Inasmuch as I found your interests in line with mines, it would really be appreciated if you inform me about your plan to select a graduate student for your
future researches

P.S: you may access my CV which is attached to this email as well

Sincerely yours
My Name

لطفا به پست‌هایی که محسن عزیز اشاره کردند مراجعه کنید تا اطلاعات بیشتری در مورد تماس با استادها کسب کنید.
متن شما در جاهایی توضیحاتش یک مقدار بیش از حده و چند جا هم اشکالات انگلیسی داره. من تغییراتی به صورت زیر رو پیشنهاد می‌کنم:

Dear Professor Name

I am a graduate Industrial Engineering student and plan to apply to … University for the PhD Program.

I worked on the generalized traveling salesman problem (GTSP) for my MSc thesis and submitted three papers out of this work. One of these papers is published and the other two are under review in COR and EJOR.

I am interested in designing exact and heuristic algorithms, especially NP-Hard problems, and found your research interests in line with those of mine. I would really appreciate it if you could consider me for admission as a PhD student in your research group.

More information about me and my research activities can be found in my attached CV.

Best regards,

Your name