28-07-2016, 01:41 PM
I was browsing through other topics in the forum when I came across this post. It is a TOEFL essay which was posted a while ago by user TOEFLL110 in here./0
Although it was posted a long time ago and the poster might not need what he or she asked then, it is still a good exercise. Can you make this essay more readable and more coherent?/0
Here it is
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
It is more important to keep your old friends than it is to make new friends.
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
Some people prefer to keep their old friends others are inclined towards making new friends. As far as I am concerned, I agree that trying to remain old friends is a high priority/ has priority over to make new ones. In that, not only does a long-standing friendship supply a secure space to have enjoyable moments beside friends, but also it allows friends to be close intimately in order to help each other under difficult circumstances. My arguments for this point are listed as follows.
One of the primary causes is that having old friends creates a friendly atmosphere. So that friends change their mood and feel relaxed. For instance, when a person has a lifelong friendship with his friends, he has a lot in common with them. So they can spend much of their leisure time with each other such as to go a cinema, take a trip, play a game etc. Furthermore, existence of great similarity among them can be constructive to understand and influence each other in a good way.
But there is an additional subtle point we must consider. Old friends can trust each other greatly in order to solve a dilemma which one of them faces. To illustrate, imagine one of them is stressful and coward as he applies for a job. It causes him to fail in that job interview. In this situation, other friends can guide him properly and give some solutions to resolve his issue.
In a word, an old friend laughs at your jokes when he is not so good, and sympathizes with your problems when he is not so bad
It is more important to keep your old friends than it is to make new friends.
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
Some people prefer to keep their old friends others are inclined towards making new friends. As far as I am concerned, I agree that trying to remain old friends is a high priority/ has priority over to make new ones. In that, not only does a long-standing friendship supply a secure space to have enjoyable moments beside friends, but also it allows friends to be close intimately in order to help each other under difficult circumstances. My arguments for this point are listed as follows.
One of the primary causes is that having old friends creates a friendly atmosphere. So that friends change their mood and feel relaxed. For instance, when a person has a lifelong friendship with his friends, he has a lot in common with them. So they can spend much of their leisure time with each other such as to go a cinema, take a trip, play a game etc. Furthermore, existence of great similarity among them can be constructive to understand and influence each other in a good way.
But there is an additional subtle point we must consider. Old friends can trust each other greatly in order to solve a dilemma which one of them faces. To illustrate, imagine one of them is stressful and coward as he applies for a job. It causes him to fail in that job interview. In this situation, other friends can guide him properly and give some solutions to resolve his issue.
In a word, an old friend laughs at your jokes when he is not so good, and sympathizes with your problems when he is not so bad
BASc Electrical Engineering, University of British Columbia, Vancouver, Canada